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The Big Secret - What Do You Want to Know About Sex?

For the longest time, it was believed that we all start out female in the womb. This belief was based mostly on the theory of lack, i.e. lack of a penis, therefore female. The developing fetus is neutral in appearance. The sex of the fetus is predetermined by the XX or XY chromosomes present at the time of conception. Around the 6th week, if there is a Y chromosome present, one of its genes, known as the SRY gene, will “turn on” a chemical chain of reactions that will stimulate the production of the male hormones. If this does not occur, the fetus will become female.

Inside the developing fetus there are gonads, a small protruding bud and a number of skin folds. In a female fetus, the gonads will develop into ovaries and in a male fetus, into testicles. The small protruding bud will develop into a clitoris in the female and a penis in the male. The folds of skin will develop into the other lips of the vagina in a female and into the scrotum or sack which holds the testicles in a male.

The fetus is awash with sex hormones. If the level or amount of hormones the fetus receives is sufficient, it will result in a heterosexual female or a heterosexual male. The process usual works fine, but sometimes, the level of the hormones might not be sufficient. Much research is being done on the level of the hormones needed and the results when the levels are insufficient. Some scientists are beginning to believe that insufficient levels of these hormones may be the cause of homosexuality, bisexuality and transgender.

What do you want to know about sex? There are several books that you might want to read. What’s the Big Secret? And Changing you! Both written by Dr. Gail Saltz for preteens, they are easy to read with very clear line drawing pictures and explanations that give detailed and precise information. You can call your local library on the phone to see if they have it. (here is a tip), if your library doesn’t have it, you can ask them to purchase it. Then have several of your friends call and ask for the same book. That will create a demand for the book and encourage the library to buy the book. You can put your name on a waiting list and they will let you know when the book comes in. I bought my copies at Amazon.com but any local book store should have it.

Planned Parenthood has the best information on birth control and you can visit their website at www.plannedparenthood.org. You can also stop in or call them to ask when they will have their next information presentation. www.teenwire.com and www.scarleteen.com and www.familiesaretalking.org are all good sites to visit.

Nature has programmed us to nurse when we are tiny babies. Nature has programmed us to stand and to learn to walk during our first year of life and to run and jump and explore and learn as we grow. Nature has also programmed us to want sex and to be curious and interested in sex. Our natural curiosity about sex begins as early as age 3 when we start to notice the difference between girls and boys. Sex is not dirty. It is not sinful or something to be ashamed of. It is part of nature, part of the circle of life. It is the tool used by nature to ensure survival of the species. Babies are born with the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. We are not born knowing how to feel shame or how to hate. We have to be taught. In the Rogers and Hammerstein’s Musical “South Pacific”, there is a song. And some of the words to that song are: We have to be taught … before its too late … before we are 6 or 7 or 8 … to hate all the people our relatives hate … we have to be carefully taught. Yes, we have to be carefully taught. We have been taught, to be ashamed of our bodies, to not like ourselves, to think we are ugly or stupid or bad or sinful or clumsy.

So, what do you want to know about sex? We are programmed to desire that intimacy with another person. We are programmed to mate. Our bodies fit together like 2 pieces of a puzzle. If we receive good information about sex and our bodies and how it all works, we will have healthy relationships based on equality and respect. It is only when the shame and beliefs that sexual feelings are somehow dirty and sinful are passed on to us from others that our sexual interest and sexual expression become distorted.