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Sexual Abuse... It Stops Now!!

Boundaries … the sense of invisible personal space around an individual body and separating one person from another or others, the encroachment of which may cause anxiety…. a line creating a separation between two physical places …. the limits you set for your physical, emotional and social space.

Most people coming from dysfunctional families have no sense of boundaries. Sexual abuse is the vilest of all invasions of personal boundaries. The person perpetrating the abuse does not respect or honor another’s personal space or boundaries. Often the perpetrator doesn’t understand the concept of boundaries because he / she were a victim of having their boundaries violated early on in their childhood. That, however, does not give them permission to violate yours. Establishing your own boundaries is the first step in breaking free of an abusive relationship. This may be hard or next to impossible to do until you understand the concept of boundaries. It is the stand that you personally take to protect and take care of yourself. The first step is knowing that you have a right to protect and defend yourself and to speak up and tell others that the way they are acting is unacceptable to you.

If the sexual abuse is by a boyfriend, stop spending time alone with him. Break off the relationship immediately. Sex is a privilege, not a right. Allowing your boyfriend to have sex with you is a privilege you extend to him. It is not a right he automatically has because he is your boyfriend. If he does not understand this or accept this, then he is not respecting you or honoring you as a person. He sees you as something he owns, his personal property, and that he can do whatever he wants with. You are not his property. Do not stay in the relationship even one more day. You are too important to allow yourself to be treated like that.

National Teen Dating Abuse Hot-line 1-866-331-9474.

If you are being sexually abused by a family member, remaining in your own home is no longer an option. You will need to find a safe place to stay. Who do you turn to for help? Sometimes, other family members know and won’t step in to stop the abuse because of their own fears. If you share that you are being abused and they do nothing to help you, they may be in denial because they are too afraid or ashamed and don’t want to have to face it or deal with it. They may even accuse you of lying, or say that it is your fault. It is never your fault. You could go to the nurse at school. If you have a counsel at school, you could ask the counsel for help. They will believe you. Sexual abuse often leaves physical evidence on your body which can be documented. Don’t hide in shame or try to stop it on your own. You need someone with legal authority on your side.

Sexual abuse, especially by someone you trust and who should be protecting you, can leave scars that last a lifetime. . People who have been sexually abused often turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. They feel dirty all the time, even after spending countless hours in the shower scrubbing themselves raw. Most young teens living on the street are run-a-ways who left home because they were being sexually abused.

Again, it is not your fault. You do not deserve to be sexually abused. You do not deserve to be abused in any form, sexually, physically, mentally or psychologically. Abuse is about power. One person forcefully overpowering another and forcing them to do things against their will, things that they do not want to do.

If you need immediate help call 911. You can also go the emergency room of the hospital and tell them you have been sexual assaulted and need help. For more information visit www.childhelp.org. For additional immediate help 24 /7 call 1-800-4-A-Child.