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Deep Down, Men Sense That They Need Us More Than We Need Them
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a male? I know I did. So have many women throughout time. Sigmund Freud (psychologist 1856-1939) called it “Penis Envy”. He thought that females missed having a penis. He, like most males, just didn’t get it; they didn’t understand that it was the opportunities that we envied. The opportunities that were available to human beings who happened to have a penis; opportunities that were not available to those of us who did not.
Men have belonged to an elite club for centuries that we women have not been allowed to join. Only now, after years and years of baby steps on the road to equality are we finally getting in the club’s door. Yet with each step we take, there is a backlash of criticism, name calling and new fashions and dress codes to restrict our physical movement which are meant to rein us back in and restrict our progress.
At some level, men are intimidated by us. They boast that they are stronger, but are they? Look at the ordeal that women go through to bring a new baby into the world. They have lured us for centuries into believing that we are helpless, fragile creatures that need to be protected from the evils of the world. They said that money and business were things that the female brain just couldn’t understand. They believed that if they kept us helpless and dependent on them, we would have no choice but to stay and be there for them.
So what is the story with men? I have heard many things. I have heard that they are afraid we will laugh at them. That they are afraid we won’t take care of them. That we won’t want to have sex with them or have babies with them. But what is really going on?
Men need us more than we need them. They need us to look up to them as our hero, so they can feel powerful when the world is knocking them down. They need us to sooth their tired spirits after a harried day of fighting battles at work. Most of all, they need us to love them.
Sadly, men were little boys once who were told, “Don’t cry; only sissies and girls cry”. So, they need us to be tender for them because they have buried their tenderness somewhere deep inside. And it is way too scary to try and unbury it.
Sadly, men were little boys once who were shamed for playing with a doll because girls played with dolls and that was acting like a girl. So, they need us to help them learn how to be gentle and how to lovingly hold and take care of their tiny babies.
Sadly, men were little boys once who were shamed if they were afraid or showed fear. So, they need us to hold them when their unacknowledged fears become too strong.
Sadly, men were little boys once who were only allowed to be brave or angry. So, they need us to fall back on when they are not feeling so brave.
Men ask, “What do women want?” They don’t understand we want the same things they want. We want to be loved and appreciated and valued just like they do. And, we also want equality and opportunities and respect. Men think that if they give us equality and we have access to opportunities, we will leave and they will wind up alone. What men don’t understand is that if they gave us the respect and all the things that having a penis brings to a man, then we would be there because we want to, not because we have to.